Tonight I got the worst possible request for service a Bishopric can deliver. They ask you for this when they’re pretty sure you’ll say yes to anything. I won’t dignify it by saying it’s a calling. I definitely won’t be set apart, and even the Bishopric will probably be avoiding me for a few weeks. It isn’t a calling, and I’m pretty sure that I wasn’t summoned in by inspiration.
No, it was desperation, and go ahead and put on your smugly pitying looks, all you who can at least pray for comfort in your time of trial. I’m the Friends of Scouting Campaign Coordinator. No, I’m not kidding. It’s like someone taped a “Kick Me” sign to my back last week in church. The (VERY!) tactful bishopric member involved later said to Tom, “I think Julia might have grimaced a bit.” Actually, my entire face scrunched up into a mute scream of agony while Tom tactfully nudged my ankle with his toe in his classic “Bear up and do not say idiotic things” manner.
SIDEBAR. I hate it when he does this. It is usually a real effort to prevent myself from turning to him and yelling “WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?!?!!” I usually relieve my irritation by amplifying the behavior he’s trying to stop with his tactful nudges.
To a crescendo of said tactful nudges, I recklessly admitted my loathing for campaign drives in general and FOS in particular, cast aspersions on the cadre of people currently working as “Professional Scouters,” grumbled about the high overhead of the BSA, and proposed that perhaps the church should leave Scouting.
The kindly bishopric member reflectively listened to all I said; admired my willingness to say yes to any job, no matter how difficult; promised a supply of envelopes and labels; and sent me off to tomorrow night’s kickoff and rally at the Stake Center.
Bryan, I’m working. Really. You can take the pins out of the voodoo doll, especially the one stabbed through my back. Please? I can’t take much more.
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3 comments:
oh dear, Jules...that sounds bad. Is it just envelopes, or do you have to actually talk to people? When people tell me I'd make a good salesman, which is often for some reason, I always point out that I could never be PAID enough to sell something, it has to be a labor of love...like politics or the Gospel. But scouting?! Yikes. Sorry. Just think--with a little more money in the scouting coffers they probably could have arranged for Stu to have the right size shirt.
Hey, Billy. Stu was just ahead of his time. It won't be long before you see benji4u on his website in a size small scout shirt. Jules - I feel for you. I love your blog, though. I wish I could hang around with Tim more.
Man, Jules, that is bad. I have lived in fear of that all my life. Scoutmaster I could handle, but fundraising for FOS...NEVER!
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