I've now heard of three incidents where marriages ended on vacations. I thought that was bizarre until we took this vacation. Now don't get me wrong—we've had a great vacation and I still love my spouse, but I can see how a long vacation to a novel place can strain a relationship.
A major problem, obviously, is the fact that two customarily autonomous adults are suddenly stuck in the same rental car going 70 down an unfamiliar freeway. Tom justifiably has so little faith in my sense of direction that he politely declines to allow me to either drive OR navigate, meaning that during portions of this vacation he was going 70 down an unfamiliar freeway while manipulating a map in one hand, google directions in the other, and talking on his cell speaker phone to someone trying to explain bits of the map.
I spent those moments sitting on my hands, biting my tongue, and trying to focus on right mindfulness, right thinking, and the seven fold path. When Zen failed, I shrieked out utterly incorrect advice in command form.
The invention of the GPS, by giving couples a scapegoat for bad navigational choices, has undoubtedly saved quite a few marriages. Too bad our rental car was not so equipped.
Actually, the first day of the rental car was MOSTLY fine. We went to Gettysburg, one of my favorite stops of the trip. Thanks to the Booths, we had a terrific Auto Tour which really brought the battle to life, but we ran out of time to tour the huge new museum and visitor's center. We had just 30 minutes there, and I ran from display to display as I realized that all my questions would be answered if I could just get to them all... Sigh.
I was moved by a display of letters and journal entries from former slaves who fled the south to fight for the Union. At Gettysburg the futility of the Civil War is on display. Monuments to fallen soldiers from each side stand together, and stories of comrades and friends who sorrowfully faced and killed each other there fill the display cases and tour narrative.
Of all the purported causes of the war, none seem to justify that kind of carnage between friends and brothers. Except slavery. We bought a book of speeches, so I'll let Lincoln argue the case for preserving the Union, but until he's convinced me, I'm hoping that in our hearts the real truth is that we fought to abolish slavery.
That night we stayed with Dan and Mandy, Melanie's friends in Hershey. As Tom said, of all the amazing things we saw on our vacation, Mandy was the most amazing. She had her father-in-law, Mel and kids, and all of us spending the night, and she just kept on throwing out fantastic food and wafting cheerful welcome around the house. I discovered that in addition to being the hostess with the mostest, she also has a Masters degree, is an opera singer and excellent pianist, can operate heavy machinery, won a Wii in a cooking contest, and put darling gift bags on each of our beds... Let's just say that Nigel informed me on Saturday morning that he'd decided to make Mandy his new Mom.
We went to Hersheypark Saturday—it was crowded but fun. The wildest ride, however, was driving into New York at 2:30 am. When we lived in Costa Rica, one of the things I loved was seeing the green freeway sign in San Jose that said, “Nicaragua” and pointed to the next exit. It was equally fun to see signs saying “Broadway,” “Manhattan,” “Bronx.” Tom followed Mel (amazing driver, perfect navigation, and all at 3:30 am by the time we got through the tunnel) right to their apartment on Long Island.
Today getting to church involved more tongue biting as we missed a turn, had to pick a freeway, and searched fruitlessly for a way to get back as each exit turned into an Escheresque new freeway entrance. Finally on the third or fourth of these, Tom pulled off a daring U-turn and unravelled the tangle, putting us right back where we started (in spite of three or four utterly misleading directions from me) and ultimately getting us to church half way through sacrament meeting.
It's great to be here with Dave and Mel, and we're looking forward to more NY adventures tomorrow, hopefully diminished somewhat by the fact that we're turning in the rental car in the morning.
5 comments:
What?! You're STILL on vacation? That explains why no one picked up when I called Bellingham yesterday. Jonathan's school doesn't start until Tuesday, so we hear the "You're STILL on vacation?!" question almost every day from our med school buddies who started two weeks ago. Oh...and I've always wanted to come across a situation where I had to use the phrase "hostess with the mostest". Way to go!
I've been waaay to busy to post comments (sorry! 15hr night shifts do that to you!), but had to respond to this one. Obviously, like me 5 months ago, you're in desperate need of some Civil War material. If you read nothing else, you should totally read the outstanding book "Team of Rivals", which will not only convince you of the obvious - that Lincoln was our best ever president - but also explain a lot about the issues involved with the war. For good measure, you should also either read or (better yet) get the Audible version of "Manhunt" about the chase for John Wilkes Booth. Basically, while Lincoln didn't initially free the slaves (for a wide variety of reasons), he was absolutely an abolitionist; plus, without the emancipation proclamation, and the north finally deciding that freeing the slaves actually was what they were fighting for, they likely could not have sustained the war effort to its conclusion. Lincoln had wanted to do the proclamation for a while, but didn't want to make it seem like it was purely a political move, so waited until after the Union victory of Antietam to release it. Also, without the slave issue, the war unquestionably never would have been fought. Another fun book to listen to on audible is Bruce Catton's 8hr abridged nutshell of the Civil War - absolutely fascinating, short enough to get through, and you'll always sound like you know what you're talking about when the civil war comes up (as it so often does in Bellingham, WA). There, that's all my blog time, spent on an extended comment. Glad you had fun; sorry you didn't get to drop by. If only Palmyra compared to DC....
#1 Awesome post, as always... #2, I now aspire to be like Mandy, and #3, I'm not allowed to navigate either (trying to get back to Bremerton from the coast, I got us about 2/3 of the way to Forks before Brian realized I had no skills in navigation). Hey!! We should take a road trip together, who knows where we'll end up?!!! :) Court
Or you could wreck your marriage just trying to agree to GO on vacation!! After your blog, I would go on vacation anywhere with you. Hey, remember that time we were trying to find our exit down 405 in Seattle, couldn't decide what exit to take, (take it? swerve right, don't take it? swerve left) then finally slammed the brakes on right before running into that concrete thingie?
We LOVED having you and I am sending you a bunch of pictures and the monkey. Thanks for coming to see us- we loved having the one-on-one with your family!
Post a Comment